When a child asks for a toy, or when a parent says, “Why are you playing with your kids’ toys?” you should listen to your child.
But it’s also time to consider a parenting toolkit to help parents avoid parent-child alienation syndrome.
“When a parent wants to leave the room, or a child says, ‘Dad, please don’t leave,'” says David K. Greenberg, a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and a founder of Parenting 101.
“You can start to recognize these as things that are going on,” he says.
Parenting 101 teaches parents how to recognize, respond to and prevent the emotional, psychological and physical effects of parenting in children and teens.
Parents can also use Parenting101 to explore their own parenting patterns and learn how to manage their children’s expectations and behaviors.
“This is a very broad approach,” Greenberg says.
“It covers a lot of different topics.
It’s not just about parenting.”
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Read moreHow to prevent parent alienation:1.
Keep kids’ needs to themselves.
“If you’re the primary caregiver, you don’t want your kids to feel like they’re being ignored or being hurt,” Greenberg explains.
“You want them to feel good about themselves.
If you feel bad about yourself, you need the other person to be able to help.”2.
Limit your interactions with your child’s friends and family.
“Your primary goal should be to get your child to feel secure and comfortable with you and with their peers,” Greenberg adds.
“That can mean having friends over, playing together or even taking their clothes off, if it’s a comfortable time.”3.
Keep children’s needs to you.
“A lot of people are worried about how to keep their children safe,” Greenberg advises.
“Make sure your children have a safe space.”4.
Be careful about getting involved with your children’s friends.
“Friends can make the difference between kids having fun and not having fun,” Greenberg notes.
“This is where the relationship can be very challenging.
Don’t put yourself in a situation where you feel like you’re being pushed or pushed you into making a decision that you’re not comfortable with.”5.
Get rid of inappropriate and harmful behavior.
“Children don’t know when to stop,” Greenberg warns.
“They don’t have a sense of how to say, ‘No, I’m not doing this.
I didn’t mean to do this.'”6.
Be open about your relationship.
“Don’t tell them you have a girlfriend,” Greenberg cautions.
“When you talk to your children, you have to tell them what you love about them.
That will make them feel comfortable.
But the more they know you love them, the more comfortable they will be.”7.
Use an appropriate relationship toolkit.
“As a parent, you can be really helpful by asking your children about their relationship,” Greenberg states.
“Some people use a combination of therapy, role-playing, communication and communication skills.
I like to say to my children, ‘You’re so amazing that you can make them laugh.'”8.
Be honest with your family.
“[A parent] doesn’t have to be super-secret about their feelings or secrets.
It doesn’t matter.
If it’s okay to say you’re scared or that you don the same things that your children do, they will get over it,” Greenberg suggests.9.
“I don’t care if you think it’s wrong, but don’t be that person who tells your child, ‘That’s how you’re supposed to be.
You’re supposed as a parent to be the best parent that you possibly can,'” Greenberg says, adding that it’s important to understand that your child can learn that she’s good at everything from playing to doing math.10.
Know what’s normal.
“Parents are the only people in the world who can really see what is normal and what isn’t,” Greenberg concludes.
“We can be pretty honest with our kids.
We can say, You know, we like this, we don’t like that, and it doesn’t affect us.
We’re not trying to hurt you, or we’re trying to control you.
We just don’t understand what’s happening in the family.”
Read moreRead moreAbout the author:Shannon Hines is a columnist at The Wall St. Journal.
She tweets at @hinesandsheep.